You make lemonade. At least, that's how the saying goes. I've drank lime juice before but never lemonade. I wonder if they taste the same. A refreshing blend of sweet, salty and sour that dances on your tongue and fizzles down your throat. Damn. Looks like I'm craving for some. What's the purpose of this blog post? And why such a title? I just feel that it aptly describes the way my life is going right now. Except instead of making lemonade, I'm sucking on the damn lemons. Bleargh. You can gather by now that I am not a big fan of lemons. Even thinking about them makes my teeth hurt. That's not the point. What I'm trying to say is that instead of putting a positive spin on the mess I've made of my life, I'm wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing. Bloody pathetic, I tell you. My spiritual life isn't getting any better either. I wish I can pluck out all the evil and vindictive feelings in my soul and throw them far, far away. But I can't. All I can do is try to keep my guard up and not let my unpleasant side leak out through the cracks. The past few weeks were positively hellish. I've let my guard down a few times and acted like a b***h. I know that if I don't find a way to rid myself of the darkness in my soul, I may never see the light again. I'm scared. I don't want to fall prey to sin and temptation. I know that I can only find redemption in God but I am ashamed to face Him. It's silly of me to avoid the only being that can help me. I never said I was the sharpest tool in the shed. I want to make amends. I want to make things right. Help me, Father. I need You. Be my strength, my shield and my sword, Father. Help me overcome my weaknesses and shortcomings. Amen.
P.S. God bless you.
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